Families in New York can pursue adoption by identifying birth parents on their own, without using an agency. The adoptive parents and birth parents locate each other, initiate communication, and come to the decision that they intend to make an adoption plan together.
Adoptive parents and birth parents find each other through a variety of means, including websites, internet advertising, print ads, and informal connections between family and friends. Many families find that a combination of these strategies is most successful.
Adoptive parents and birth parents can share as much or as little identifying information with each other as they want. Some adoptive and birth families have lots of ongoing contact after the child is born, others prefer no contact at all. Some degree of openness has become standard in adoptions today, and many birth parents will want to meet the adoptive parents and receive updates about the child after the adoption. Even with semi-open adoptions, some families still choose not to exchange last names, addresses and phone numbers.
Brian will help you obtain the medical history of the birth family, information about the pregnancy, and as much social history of the birth parents as possible. Birth mothers will be asked to be tested for HIV, as well as substance abuse, where possible. Adoptive parents will also receive medical records of the baby’s stay at the hospital.
Laws vary from state to state about what assistance adoptive parents can provide to birth parents during the pregnancy. Where permitted, Brian can help facilitate payments for birth mother counseling, medical and living expenses during pregnancy and recovery, and legal representation. Birth families may qualify for Medicaid and other forms of public assistance, and some birth families will have their own medical insurance. In order to protect your interests, you will not pay any expenses directly to the birth family. Any and all payments will be made through Brian’s attorney account, only after the expenses have been verified.
Brian brings his experience as an adoptive parent to walk you step by step through the process. He will help you prepare for any twists and turns and work to make this a positive experience for you, the birth family, and especially your child.